We love a new Ryan Murphy show as much as the next person – so when we started seeing trailers for “Doctor Odyssey”, a medical drama set onboard a cruise ship – we were all in. With so many factors in its favor – Joshua Jackson (who will always be Pacey to some of us) is the suave doctor! Don Johnson is the gruff captain! Philippa Soo of “Hamilton” fame is the sassy nurse practitioner – the show seemed binge-worthy.
After the first episode, though, we’ll be hate-watching instead. There were just too many cruising inaccuracies to make “Doctor Odyssey” anything more than the guiltiest of pleasures. In no particular order, here are the most egregious errors we found (spoilers to follow).
Cruise ports are run by port authorities, government agencies that fall under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Coast Guard and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. As such, they have some of the strictest security protocols out there (as anyone who has ever boarded a ship as a passenger knows). The list of people coming onboard a ship, known as the manifest, includes crew – and you must have identification to board, as outlined in the Maritime Transportation Security Act. Letting the doctor breeze right by – without ID – because he’s handsome. Wouldn’t happen.
“Is that a whiskey bar?” we wondered when we saw the entrance to the Odyssey’s medical center, where medicines were arranged artistically and backlit. Nope. We then laughed further when we saw the full real estate. Cruise ships do not have operating rooms. Nor is the medical center larger than the pool deck. Nor do doctors on ships perform dialysis, unless you’ve booked a charter Dialysis at Sea cruise.
Find out what other eagle-eyed cruisers had to say about the show.
Dr. Max Bankman – that’s the character’s real name, although we’re either going to continue calling him Doctor Pacey or Doctor Odyssey (as Johnson apparently mistakenly did at the end of the episode) – has quite the digs onboard. His suite looks top of the line, with lots of extras and tons of square footage. We can confidently say that no cruise ship doctor has ever been put in such luxurious surroundings – that suite would definitely be sold at a premium. Medical staff have cabins similar to other crew.
As seen on the show, injuries occur when waterslides empty into pools where people are swimming. No cruise ship would ever design slides where bystanders can get hurt, let alone get throat-punched by their own spouses. And while we’re talking about that injury, let’s mention the first one incurred by another guest …
Or any surgery, for that matter. Cruise ships do not have operating rooms, as pointed out earlier. If a serious medical issue arises, the cruise ship medical team does what they can to triage and stabilize patients, using cardiac monitors, defibrillators, ventilators, X-ray machines, lab equipment and some acute care medications. But once a passenger is stabilized, they are evacuated to a medical facility on shore. (Remember that point, it will come up later).
The medical centers on ship do have office hours, but someone is always on call for emergencies. The fact that all of them are drinking excessively at the same time in port is also highly unlikely (crew hookups, though? That’s within the realm of possibility, although we’re pretty sure an officer such as a doctor would be a little more careful with someone who worked for him, ESPECIALLY if a other direct report confided to him that he was in love with her). There’s a good chance that at some point during your cruise, you will hear “Despacito,” so that part of the scene tracks. We also appreciate good dance-off scene, More of those, please.
It’s a well-known fact in cruising that most overboards happen because someone purposely decided to jump; suicide at sea is a thing, unfortunately. On the show, a drunk passenger goes overboard because he’s jumped up on an area that seems unprotected by a high railing – such locations generally do not exist (although over-inebriation is certainly possible). Once he goes overboard, the crew finds out through messages sent to their watches and there’s no general alarm to alert staff as happens in real life (we’ve heard Oscar Oscar Oscar on one of our sailings, unfortunately).
The first call that a ship makes during a passenger overboard is to the Coast Guard or the nearest maritime authority, period. There’s also no dramatic debate about whether the ship will turn around – it will happen immediately. Ships will pinpoint the general area where the overboard happened and make a 180 degree turn to get back there. Every time.
We also laughed out loud when the captain said the ship was too far away for a medevac. What? We’ve seen medevacs happen in the most remote regions of the world (hello, western Australia’s Kimberley and Patagonia). Weather conditions can delay a medevac, but ships are almost always in range of a possibility.
The show’s grasp of cruise reality went off the rails during the rescue scene, where the entire medical team went out on a small boat, sans life jackets, to rescue the overboard passenger. Doctor Odyssey saved the day, of course, by jumping into the water – again, without a life jacket! – to bring the guest to safety. Even for Ryan Murphy, this is an unbelievable scenario.
With all these errors, are we still going to watch? Of course we will! But it won’t be for the medical team love triangle or Dr. Odyssey’s smug attitude.
Rather, we’re in it for the Ryan Murphy factor, where he ends up making shows that are so over-the-top, you can’t wait to see what crazy thing happens next. Plus we wonder how many episodes it will take before Philippa Soo’s character has to fill in for the entertainment staff and sing a solo, or the other nurse leads the entire ship in The Cupid Shuffle. Whatever happens, we’re here for it.